On Friendship

Recently I was reading a blog post about "Listening more, talking less." As a loudmouth, myself, I took it to heart and decided to give it a try. Over the course of a week, a lot has been revealed to me.

I went to McDonald's with a friend last week for coffee. After spending part of the morning and the entire afternoon talking about life, love, and other mysteries, I was left with such a feeling of warmth; an act of friendship I had not experienced in, gee, I can't even remember. I applied the "listen more, talk less" to my friend, and it came back tenfold to me.

I was telling Scott all about my afternoon when I realized something. My friend sat and listened to me all afternoon, never once picking up her phone to do what I call "cell doodling," she didn't go the restroom (I seriously don't judge people for having to pee, just making a point, stay with me here), and didn't act bored or distracted. I had someone's attention all afternoon. I saw this same friend 2 hours later at church and just wanted to hug her. Her afternoon with me meant so much.

That day got me thinking about all the supposed distractions in life that take our time away from others. Anyone who knows me can tell you that hearing people say, "I'm so busy," makes my ears bleed. I personally think that you make time for the things you really care about. I find myself trapped in my own little box now and again and have to stop and regroup. I realize people have their own lives, their own families, and responsibilities that take priority. But you truly don't know what kind of impact a kind word, a phone call, a note in the mail, a bottle of nail polish that reminded you of her, or an afternoon of chatter can have. Simply listening more and talking less can make the difference between an acquaintance and a best friend.

One of these days take a moment and think about the people that are in your life. Are there any one-sided friendships/relationships that could be made complete by a simple gesture on your part? A little effort? A little focus? A little time? A little note? A simple call instead of a text? I told this same friend that I cannot keep one-sided relationships for very long. I do the best that I can for a time, but if it is never reciprocated, I will eventually give up. I have been thinking about friendships that I need to make more effort in. The ones I need to do some reciprocating for.

But alas, I can only change myself and my reactions to others. I can't change others or their behaviors. Sadly, sometimes you do have to say goodbye to a friendship and move on with your life. It really hurts, though, when you are the one left wondering what went wrong and feel like you have been cut out of someone's life.

I sometimes sit back and feel sad when I think about some people I know. Especially lately. I want to be a part of their lives so much, but they just don't seem to want to let me in. My friend spending seven and a half hours at McDonald's with me was such an act of kindness that I'm reevaluating myself and my attitude with others. I am a big believer in "be the change you want to see in the world." What do others do that make me bananas when I am with them? I can't get annoyed if I do the same things myself, now can I? I am trying to be mindful of this one as well.

Ok, enough of my rambling. To my friend I have mentioned who gave me your time, I thank you. Everyone should have a person like you in their life.