I harken back to a blog post I made last year:
A Wee Request
I'm still going through this and am struggling. This past weekend, after a morning of being pushed up a ramp I never asked help for, something came to my mind. It was in the opening lines of our choir singing, "Thou, O Lord." Am I the problem? Am I doing something that makes me come across helpless? Am I carrying myself in a way that screams, "Help this woman!!!!!"
Like the blog I mentioned above, it's killing me people not taking "no" for an answer, then taking over a task for me. I was at a buffet line once and heading back to my table. A man asked me if I needed help, to which declined. He said, "Here, let me take this for you," proceeded to take my plate from my hands, and take it to my table. Situations like that. I may look like I'm struggling doing something, but if I haven't asked anyone for help, I don't need any. If I haven't asked for someone to push me up a ramp, or push me at all, for that matter, I can make it on my own.
Again, like I said in the other post, I believe most people's intentions are kind and well-meaning. I stay quiet and don't really say anything when this happens. I don't mind being offered help, not one bit. It's people not taking "no" for an answer, or just doing it with asking for consent at all, is what I'm struggling with. In the end, they aren't doing me any favors, only making themselves feel good. I know I sound bitter and ungrateful, but this has been happening to me a lot lately. It has gotten to the point that I have been second-guessing myself: is this something I'm doing? Do I actually look helpless and just don't realize it? What do I do, if anything, to change this misconception of me?
At the end of the day, people are going to think what they will about me and my disability, and I'm totally fine with that. Whether they are right or wrong in their perception, I have no issue with that. I do, however, have issues with how I am treated based on that perception, or misconception. Most people with a disability want nothing more than to be treated like any other human being in this world. To not be favored, pitied, separated, infantilized, or condescended to. I am one of these people. I've spent the last few days thinking about this and what it is my power to make this happen less. I honestly have no idea.
