I Have a Dream...

I posted on Facebook that I needed a project. That has really been on my mind today. There is one thing I keep going back to. It's an idea I had a few years ago that just didn't work out. I still catch myself thinking about this and trying to find a way to make it work.

If I could do anything for a living, it would be a personal chef. I love to cook, and more importantly, cook for others, but my disability makes it pretty impossible to get into people's homes. I then decided I would make this work. I would supply the entire meal: salad fixins (if it went with that particular meal), main course, and dessert. All the client would have to do is pick it up at my house. Voilà! Problem solved! I get to cook for others and accessibility is not an issue. I pitched this idea to a few people and had some friends eagerly tell me they would be first on the list to use me. I even had a good friend offer to write my business website, someone to design the website, and someone to help me keep books. Nice, huh?

Sadly, this idea was not to be.

There are a zillion laws regarding food service. The big one being you cannot sell food out of your home cooked in the same kitchen your household uses. No way to get around that. I can't tell you how bad I wanted to scream. I still do.

If you know me at all, you will know I love to cook. Other than singing, it's what I love to do more than anything. I just can't seem to find a way to make a living at it. Accessibility keeps from me working in any restaurants/kitchens (besides the obvious fact that I have no formal training or restaurant experience). Same goes for catering. Hello Head, Meet Mr. Brick Wall.

I was talking to Scott this morning about my needing a project. I was thinking how awesome it would be to have something like 3 families a week to provide dinner for. I mean, think about it: you sign up for Tuesday evening, you drop by my house and in seconds, you have a spaghetti dinner for 4, salad, bread, and homemade chocolate cake for dessert. You even have enough leftover for lunch the next day. All within the comforts of your own home and cheaper than eating out. Wouldn't you pay $25 or so for that?

I thought it was a novel idea.

I have to be honest, I'm thinking about going ahead and doing this anyway, just not making it public and keeping just a few people. But then again, there's Lindsay's Law: if it's bound to happen, it will happen to me. *sigh* Is it worth trying? Go for it? I don't know.

A few years ago a good friend of mine was called on to host a baby shower for a friend at the last minute. Knowing how much I loved to cook/bake, she called on me. I made her red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing and gave her a cupcake stand to put them on display. Last year, a coworker of Scott's was having a baby and the woman organizing it called on me to help, again, because she knew that I loved cooking and am good at it. She wanted cookies so I made half-dipped shortbread cookies. I ADORE this kind of thing.

A family member was talking to me about my wanting a project the other day on the phone and jokingly said, "You can plan a party for me." Little did she know just how much I would love to do it (at least the food part). Opportunity. That's what I'm looking for.

I apologize for such a vent. I'm really in a rut right now and needed to get all of it out. Come by my house next week. I will have homemade blueberry muffins and double chocolate orange brownies for you to snack on.

Thankful at 5 a.m.?

I hate the world in the morning. I come by it honestly as my mother is the exact same way. Don't even breathe towards me if I don't have my contacts in and a cup of coffee in front of me.

So in the hopes of someday being a positive person in the morning, here are 5 things I am thankful for at 5 a.m. this morning:

1. The memory foam pillow that I couldn't believe I spent $70 dollars on. It was worth every penny! (I should add that it was buy one get one free when we bought out mattress)

2. The brown fuzzy blanket I got for Christmas that I keep on the foot of the bed in the summer. Last night, my feet were icy so I covered them with it. I may not be able to feel them, but I do feel sorry for them when they are cold.

3. The "surround sound" we have in our room. On Scott's side of the bed we have a nightstand. On it we have a rock star of an alarm clock. It plays all kinds of nature sounds. We sleep to the rain option. On my side of the bed, there is a small bookshelf. On it is a white noise machine I bought 9 years ago when I worked third shift. Together, those make for the most quiet and peaceful room to sleep in. Both items go with us on vacation.

4. I'm thankful for a husband who doesn't grumble and complain when awakened in the middle of the night with his wife saying, "Hold me, I'm cold."

5. This one is two-fold. I am thankful for my coffeemaker with a self-timer that has a beep loud enough to wake the dead. I'm also thankful for Scott, who always pours my first cup for me every morning. I check my e-mail, Facebook, etc. over coffee and it's always on the desk waiting on me.

Cheesy list? You decide.

Edited to add that this is Scott first thing in the morning. Every. Single. Day.
Scott in the morning

Me on the other hand

The Story of Us

I publicly apologize to Michele, once again, for stealing her idea. I sat down to write and got a bit of a block. In the interest of getting creative juices flowing, I thought I would tell everyone the somewhat long story of how Scott and I got together.

Scott and I met at church. I started going to this church right before I graduated from college. We chatted and became friends. We were also in the same Sunday school class. My mother, being very perceptive, had Scott's number all along. I denied this, saying that I was way too young for him to be interested in me. Ha ha, right?

According to Scott's side of the story, right before he could ask me out I started seeing someone. I ended up dating this person for 2 years. At the end of this particular relationship, I was getting advice from Scott. Being the gentleman he is, he never encouraged me to break up with the guy. A few weeks later, we had a mutual break-up.

Prompted by my sweet mother who kept telling me that he "had the hots for me," I fed Scott a total line. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring was about to premiere. A made a big to-do about not having anyone to go see it with. He quickly solved that problem. That became our first date. We saw the movie and went to dinner. I can still remember the electricity that ran through me when he took my hand during the movie.

So that's how we met and started dating.

We dated for a year and a half and got engaged. 8 months later we got married. We've been together for 6 happy years. Marrying Scott is one of the best things that's ever happened to me and I look forward to every new day because of him.

Questions? Comments? Smart remarks? Post a comment!

5 Blog Questions (stolen from Michele)

1. What is one food you could eat everyday?
Homemade blueberry muffins

2. Are you working in the career you thought you would be when you were 18?
No, and I'm thankful.

3. What is something that you wish you would have done when you were younger and you didn't?
Met and married my husband. Also, gone away to college.

4. What color are your kitchen walls?
A khaki-tan color.

5. Do you remember what your very first favorite song was?
Blondie- One Way or Another
check this out

More on Friendship

I'm well known as someone who's not really into trends in technology. I don't Twitter, I have a Blackberry with no data plan, and I don't need to have a movie at my fingertips. That said, I do have a Facebook account. Lately, as I've been thinking about friendships, relationships, and family, I have been thinking a lot about what technology has done to how we feel about ourselves and our peers.

I have friends on my Facebook that I have never met and probably will never meet. People who I have "met" through message boards and connected through common interests: Disney, cooking, married and childfree, etc. I also have friends who simply live far from me and Facebook helps me stay in touch.

But keeping with the spirit of my last blog post, I have been thinking a lot about relationships that could do with a little work. I'm really disturbed by how Facebook has taken the face and the person away. It's as if certain people who are important in my life have sadly become labeled my "Facebook" friend. We never talk, we never share pictures, we never call each other, we never go out and do anything. It's all contained in a nice little box on Facebook.

I made a comment to a friend recently that I would delete my account in a second if it weren't for Farmville. Bless my heart, I just got sucked in and it's one of my guilty pleasures while drinking my morning coffee. It makes me wonder if all my "Facebook relationships" would just fizzle out and die.

So why have a Facebook friendship? Is it easy? Convenient? Handy? Easier than picking up the phone? Easier than bringing over a photo album? Saves you from having to look another person in the eye? Is it a way to keep people from seeing you vulnerable? Is it pure laziness? I refuse to join the club of, "Oh, that's just how people communicate these days." It's heartbreaking to me the people that live so close to me who only communicate with me through Facebook. And you no what? I'm no better than the folks I'm complaining about. I just posted as my status a whine that no one reads my blog. How juvenile and self-serving is that? It falls under the category of things I would never say to a person's face but I will say it on the internet.

I hate labels. I truly do. But putting aside the family and friendships made simpler through Facebook due to distance, it really makes me question a lot of things. Are you my friend, or my Facebook friend? Just what part do I play in your life, and do you play in mine?

On Friendship

Recently I was reading a blog post about "Listening more, talking less." As a loudmouth, myself, I took it to heart and decided to give it a try. Over the course of a week, a lot has been revealed to me.

I went to McDonald's with a friend last week for coffee. After spending part of the morning and the entire afternoon talking about life, love, and other mysteries, I was left with such a feeling of warmth; an act of friendship I had not experienced in, gee, I can't even remember. I applied the "listen more, talk less" to my friend, and it came back tenfold to me.

I was telling Scott all about my afternoon when I realized something. My friend sat and listened to me all afternoon, never once picking up her phone to do what I call "cell doodling," she didn't go the restroom (I seriously don't judge people for having to pee, just making a point, stay with me here), and didn't act bored or distracted. I had someone's attention all afternoon. I saw this same friend 2 hours later at church and just wanted to hug her. Her afternoon with me meant so much.

That day got me thinking about all the supposed distractions in life that take our time away from others. Anyone who knows me can tell you that hearing people say, "I'm so busy," makes my ears bleed. I personally think that you make time for the things you really care about. I find myself trapped in my own little box now and again and have to stop and regroup. I realize people have their own lives, their own families, and responsibilities that take priority. But you truly don't know what kind of impact a kind word, a phone call, a note in the mail, a bottle of nail polish that reminded you of her, or an afternoon of chatter can have. Simply listening more and talking less can make the difference between an acquaintance and a best friend.

One of these days take a moment and think about the people that are in your life. Are there any one-sided friendships/relationships that could be made complete by a simple gesture on your part? A little effort? A little focus? A little time? A little note? A simple call instead of a text? I told this same friend that I cannot keep one-sided relationships for very long. I do the best that I can for a time, but if it is never reciprocated, I will eventually give up. I have been thinking about friendships that I need to make more effort in. The ones I need to do some reciprocating for.

But alas, I can only change myself and my reactions to others. I can't change others or their behaviors. Sadly, sometimes you do have to say goodbye to a friendship and move on with your life. It really hurts, though, when you are the one left wondering what went wrong and feel like you have been cut out of someone's life.

I sometimes sit back and feel sad when I think about some people I know. Especially lately. I want to be a part of their lives so much, but they just don't seem to want to let me in. My friend spending seven and a half hours at McDonald's with me was such an act of kindness that I'm reevaluating myself and my attitude with others. I am a big believer in "be the change you want to see in the world." What do others do that make me bananas when I am with them? I can't get annoyed if I do the same things myself, now can I? I am trying to be mindful of this one as well.

Ok, enough of my rambling. To my friend I have mentioned who gave me your time, I thank you. Everyone should have a person like you in their life.