Dogpile City

I'd like to preface this blog with, yes, I have clearly had a bad week. It's just been one of those weeks where one crappy thing after another has happened. I'm pretty cool with the way things are most of the time, but even I need a break every now and then. All that said, the week ended with our air conditioning going out. We spent the night at my parent's house and it was fixed the next day. It gave me some perspective and made me stop and remember how blessed I am. That said, I had already started this blog and I really want to finish it. Writing is cathartic for me, so off we go.

As of late, I simply cannot seem to win. There are too many stairs, the doorways aren't wide enough, there's not enough room for me, I am always in someone's way, the ramp is on the opposite side of the building, and I just don't fit the mold of the status quo. A brown-haired, blue-eyed eyesore of a roadblock. Yes, self-pity at it's finest, dinner at 6. Cue the violins, I'm going to whine for a moment.

I made my peace with being disabled a long, long time ago. When your life changes so dramatically as a child, you have no choice but adapt. This is all I know and I'm fine with that. 95% of the time, I don't face many challenges concerning my disability. But this week, it seemed positively constant.

The icing on the cake was my church choir went to NYC last week. I could have gone, but for reasons I won't go into, I decided not to. At the last minute, we were informed that they were going to get to sing at Brooklyn Tabernacle. Holy cow, right? I was bummed, but hey, I had no one to blame but myself on that one. So I sat down to watch them live on streaming Tuesday night when I saw it. My jaw hit the floor and I immediately felt tears come to my eyes. Upon close examination I discovered that there was no way I could have sang with them had I gone. There were stairs up to the stage, which aren't a problem, but the choir loft was all risers that weren't wide enough for me and my chair. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity I couldn't even have participated in had I gone. The thought of how disappointed I would have been, and to be quite honest, how humiliating that would be was mind-blowing. I just thought, my word!!! Why should I even leave my house anymore? This world is just not accessible!

Ugh, it just wasn't my week.

I'm feeling better now and have hopefully gotten over myself. I'm blaming my funk on the rain we've been having. I just need to hope for some sunshine and get my rear back outside running. If you've made it through this long pity party, I kindly ask to send good thoughts my way, say a prayer, love on your pets, anything positive will do. Thanks and double thanks for attending my pity party!